I haven’t had a lot of words these past weeks. I felt drained, overwhelmed and frozen – I’ve been grieving. And like so many of us I’ve been witnessing, holding space, deepening understanding and anchoring compassion, empathy, peace, respect and unity within myself and with others. We’re in the process of unearthing deep-rooted injustices from our world, and what comes to the surface is intense. We all have our unique ways to process the transformations that are underway and we all have different parts to play in working towards a paradigm of dignity, safety and freedom for all – even if on some days witnessing that very process makes it hard to recognise that progress is being made.
There is a spark of inspiration and possibility available in each moment we become aware of what feels wrong, limiting or inadequate. That spark is lit by our willingness to honor our feelings and experiences and by the commitment to orient and invest our resources towards the best future we can imagine. Our deepest struggles can be the birthplaces of our highest visions.
I SOMETIMES DO GET TO ASK MYSELF WHAT BEAUTY IS SUGGESTED BY THE UGLY I’M EXPERIENCING, WHAT DEEP SENSE OF LOVE AND UNITY IS BEING OPENED BY THE REJECTION I’M FACING, WHAT VISION OF FREEDOM IS INSPIRED IN THE FACE OF LACK AND LIMITATION.
The first time I can remember becoming aware of that was as a teenager. I was in the midst of heartbreak caused by a boyfriend who had been treating me very badly, and I remember my friend watching me as if I’d lost my mind when I told her, almost in ecstasy: “Wow. I now know what safety, fun, love and respect in a relationship must feel like. It must be the exact opposite of what I’m experiencing now – and let me tell you: it feels absolutely amazing.”
She thought I was going nuts, but I wasn’t. It was just my first profound experience of a higher vision emerging from pain and chaos. And I remember that what thrilled me most was the feeling of proof. I didn’t articulate it that way at that time, but I knew that in a world of day and night, up and down, heavy and light, the occurrence of one experience must be the rock-solid proof for the potential of its opposite – and I couldn’t wait to experience it. By being the worst boyfriend one could imagine for a young girl, that dude gifted me a crystal clear vision of what I was looking for from that day forward, and with that assisted me in creating a very different future.
I certainly don’t get excited each time bad things happen to me or in the world. But I sometimes do get to take a moment to breathe and ask myself what beauty is suggested by the ugly I’m experiencing, what deep sense of love and unity is being opened by the rejection I’m facing, what vision of freedom is inspired in the face of lack and limitation, what sense of true connection is implied to me while tasting the frustrations of superficiality and isolation. What hurts us provides the information we need to become aware of our deepest desires and to form them into a vision, even if it’s a blurry one at first. Pain wants and needs to be seen and validated, yet it can’t fuel our hearts, it doesn’t orient our path into a better future; only a vision for something higher can do that for us.
So, what if, when something doesn’t feel right, we acknowledged the pain it’s causing us, and also acknowledged it as a reminder and calling for the gold we can spin from it? What if we turned the so-called mistakes we’ve made or blame others for into a vision for a future where we embody the wisdom we’ve gained? It returns us where we belong as humans: into creation.
IF SOMETHING MOVES US DEEPLY, I BELIEVE THAT IT CANNOT BE BUT BECAUSE WE ARE, AS AN INDIVIDUAL, CODED AND DESTINED TO GIVE BIRTH TO AND EMBODY ITS OPPOSITE.
But not only can we shift into power and creation of a world that we love by looking at what we don’t like and by committing to create what we feel is right instead; I believe that if something sucks, it sucks for a reason that is very personal, yet not all about ourselves. When it comes to purpose, we often think about doing what we love and that’s vital. But what if we looked at the things we’re allergic to, that cause our most nagging pain and outrageous anger on a private and collective level boldly as hint about what it is that we are purposed to create, to embody and to contribute, be it tiny or big?
There are burning collective issues that concern every single one of us in different nuances; if something moves us deeply, I believe that it cannot be but because we are, as an individual, coded and destined to give birth to and embody its opposite, invent the antidote, create the resolution, tell a better story, change the game – for our personal deepest fulfillment and for all of life.
What has to change in the world and in your private life right now? Uncovering is essential, but don’t stop there once you’ve identified it. Allow the spark of possibility to inspire you. Be bold. Are you willing to answer the call and to make a first step into embodying what you yearn for – for yourself and for all of us?
If you feel as if you have nothing to give right now, I’m with you, these times are intense and will keep challenging us profoundly. Never forget in these moments that even the tiniest act of love, care, fun, play, freedom or peace for yourself that you’re able to commit to right now and in the face of injustice, chaos, overwhelm, frustration or neglect is a valid and significant contribution to make this world a more loving, compassionate, free and peaceful community.
Enjoyed this? Share with your people – and go here to be one of the first amazing humans to join my super fresh and still totally secret Instagram community, THE ACTUAL SHE! Seriously, I can’t wait to see you there.
Image: Linus Nylund // Unsplash